The Diary of Jane
by grimmkittylove
Summary: SBHG, AU. Who knew that a simple little diary could change so much?


**The Diary of Jane**

A Harry Potter Fanfic by Silverstar's Shadow

xOx

**AN**: This song made me think of Hermione and Sirius, for some reason. A young Sirius trying to figure out this girl who mysteriously and randomly appeared in his school. Yes, the idea's been done before, but, as far as I know, no one has done this song before. So ha.

Hermione picked up and bought a simple little diary that somehow landed her almost twenty years in the past. She changed her name to Jane Gardener to protect her future identity, and to avoid screwing up the timeline any more than she already had.

**Disclaimer**: The carrot sticks I am eating have more of a chance of ever owning Harry Potter than I do. They also would laugh at my pain if I ever decided to be stupid enough to say that I own the song "The Diary of Jane." So I won't. In fact, I'll say I DON'T own it. Basically, there are two morals to this little story/disclaimer thing.

1. Carrot sticks are evil.

2. I don't own Harry Potter or "The Diary of Jane."

**. : - : .**

_If I had to_

_I would put myself right beside you_

_So let me ask_

_Would you like that? Would you like that?_

**. : - : .**

"Gardner."

There was no reply other than a slight pause in the scratching of quill and parchment. Seventeen-year-old Sirius Black frowned, and then poked the object of his attention in the arm.

"Hey, Gardner." He said it a little louder this time, and dragged out the "A" for effect, but the girl still gave no acknowledgement of his presence. Sirius huffed in frustration, and opened his mouth to try again, but was interrupted.

"Oh, shut up, Black," the brunette growled, her eyes never leaving te rather large tome in front of her. "Go away, I'm busy."

He pouted. "How'd you-"

"You never give up. Besides, that sigh gave you away. You always do that when you're about to shout at someone for ignoring you."

The Marauder's jaw dropped, but he hastily straightened his face into a smirk. "I had no idea that you paid that much attention to my ever so endearing quirks, Gardner."

She blushed hotly, but retorted, "You're extremely predictable, Black. Anyone could figure you out if they observed you well enough."

"I could give you something to observe closely," he purred, inching his way towards the seat next to her. "Maybe after Hogsmeade next Saturday."

"You wish. Now leave me alone. I told you, I'm busy."

"But I'm not," Sirius whimpered pathetically, sitting down in the chair he'd been eying before. "I've got nothing to do. I need you to help me so I can _get_ busy."

The death glare she gave him would have sent a lesser (or perhaps, _wiser_ is the correct word) man packing, but it barely fazed the teen, and made him even more determined. "Aw, you're so cute when you're mad at me, Janie."

'Will you think it's cute when I curse off the equipment you require to be considered male?" the girl asked through gritted teeth.

Sirius's eyes widened, and he cleared his throat. "I think I'll be going… I rather enjoy using my manly equipment, thanks."

"I'm sure," she muttered darkly, then turned back to her schoolwork. "Git."

**. : - : .**

_And I don't mind_

_If you say this love is the last time_

_So now I'll ask_

_Do you like that? Do you like that?_

_No?_

**. : - : .**

"Gardner -"

"What now?" she snapped, looking up at the person speaking to her and belatedly realizing that it wasn't her unwanted admirer. "Oh, sorry, Potter. I thought you were-"

"Sirius come back to bug you until you agreed to go with him to Hogsmeade? Nah," the Head Boy said. "I think he went out to drown his sorrows in a nice long snog with that Parkinson chick. Prissy, was it?"

"How comforting to know that he's that dedicated to his cause," she bit, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Has he made it his personal goal to date every girl that goes through this school at least once in the time he's here?"

"No, listen, Gardner, I think you're actually good for him. The one girl besides my Lily-flower that he can't have."

"So glad I could be of some service."

"But frankly, it's getting rather annoying. You're all he ever really talks about, well, you and Quidditch."

"Nope, no way." She closed the book and glared at him. "Black put you up to this, didn't he?"

"Honestly? No. If he'd put me up to it, I'd be singing you a badly composed love song, giving you flowers, and begging you on bended knee to just say yes. And besides, I wouldn't have told you about his little ten-minute fling with Parkinson if I were trying to get you two together, now would I?

"My only question is, why not?" He paused for effect. "I mean, he's smart, even if he doesn't show it, funny, caring, and almost as good-looking as yours truly." She rolled her eyes. "Really, his only problems are that he's obsessed with his hair, and will flirt with anything that has two legs, and-"

"This could take a while Potter, I think you should probably stop before Black comes back and actually hears your rant on every one of his flaws."

James stopped and looked her over appraisingly. "Why, Gardner, you've just proved me right! You're the only woman I've ever met who can match my best mate in sarcasm! You're destined for each other!"

"Nice try, Potter," she sighed, turning back to her homework.

**. : - : .**

_Something's getting in the way_

_Something's just about to break_

_I will try to find my place_

_In the diary of Jane_

_So tell me how it should be_

**. : - : .**

"I need mouth wash!" Sirius declared as he burst into the seventh year boy's dormitory. "I don't think Parkinson's brushed her teeth in months! Never again, I tell you."

"You say that every time you snog her, mate." James looked thoughtful. "Maybe if you stopped, Gardner might actually be more inclined to consider it. I mean, come on, who'd want to second-hand snog Prissy Parkinson?"

"I don't."

"You don't have to, you dimwit."

"Oh yeah… Wait a second." A pause. "How long have I been sympathy snogging that… thing?"

"Since Halley Jones turned you down in fourth year."

"My God." James burst out laughing, but Sirius silenced him with a glare.

Both boys were completely quiet for a while, each lost in their thoughts.

"What do you think is stopping her, Prongs?" Sirius asked finally. "I mean, aside from the whole Parkinson thing."

"I think she's scared," James answered honestly. "Your reputation proceeds you, mate, and that's not really a good thing. She thinks you're a big-headed, prank-obsessed jerk who had a dear ambition to date every female student who goes through this school while you're here. At least once."

"…That's just cruel. I would never date anyone younger than fourteen."

"Now that's a scary picture. But anyways, that's probably how she sees you."

"What do you think I should do about it?"

"First of all, under no circumstances are you to snog, flirt with, or even _talk_ to any girl other than her for a few weeks. Second-"

"WHAT?"

"Kidding, Padfoot." James gave him a cheesy grin. "Just try to actually act your age, be nice to her, don't pay as much attention to your fan club. Kay?"

"So basically, you want me to grow up."

James shook his head impatiently. "No, _you_ want you to grow up, because _she_ wants you to grow up."

"Sounds… reasonable." Sirius frowned. "I still don't like it."

"You want the girl, you do what you have to in order to _get_ the girl."

"So why don't you have the lovely Miss Evans on your arm yet?"

"Because I don't follow my own advice."

"How reassuring."

**. : - : .**

_Try to find out_

_What makes you tick_

_As I lie down_

_Sore and sick_

_Do you like that? Do you like that?_

**. : - : .**

"Lily."

"What, Black?"

'What does a girl like yourself want from life?"

"If you're asking for Potter, go away. In fact, go away even if you're not."

"But I'm not asking for James. I want to know, for me."

"Why?" She turned away from her Muggle chapter book. "Oh, God, please tell me I don't have to put up with _two_ supposedly lovesick prats now."

"No! Well, not for you. You know Gardner?"

Lily laughed. And laughed. And laughed some more. In fact, she laughed so hard she nearly fell out of her armchair. "Jane? You've finally gotten in over your head, Black. You'll never get her to admit anything. I've tried to get the name of her old school out of her, nope. A list of fanciable boys in our year, nada. The name of her last boyfriend, not a chance. She is the most stubborn person you will ever meet. I feel actually sorry for you.

"The thing is, I kinda feel bad for her. Now I feel even worse, knowing that you actually _do_ have something for her. I pity the both of you." The Head Girl gave one last chuckle, then turned back to her book.

'Well, that didn't go as expected," the black-haired teen muttered as he sat down at the table next to Remus, and, coincidentally, directly across from his lady love.

**. : - : .**

_There's a fine line_

_Between love and hate_

_And I don't mind_

_Just let me say that_

_I like that, I like that_

**. : - : .**

The Marauders gathered for an emergency meeting in the dormitory, Remus dragging Sirius away from the table where Jane was doing her homework with Lily

"But she was just about to crack Moony!" Sirius whined as they made their way up the stairs. "I could smell it!"

"She was just about to throttle you, Sirius. The saying that 'the only good Black is a dead Black' does not apply in your case, despite what Jane's opinion may be. therefore, I had to save your neck. Besides, we've called a meeting."

They were the last to make it into the room. James was already on the edge of his bed, and Peter was sitting on Remus' trunk. Remus took a seat next to Peter, and Sirius shoved James off of his bed, taking his seat. James stood, sticking his tongue out, then cleared his throat.

"This meeting will now come to order!"

"Objection!" Sirius shouted. Remus raised an eyebrow.

"What is this rumpus?" James demanded imperiously. "Are you attempting to undermine my authority, Sir Padfoot?"

"Of course not, Sir Prongs. I simply wanted to comment that this is taking up precious time that could be spent wooing yonder fair maiden."

"Jane Gardner will never, ever agree to go out with you, after that prank you pulled on her at breakfast," James declared. "Honestly, what possessed you to turn her hair black and pink?"

"I was being myself, Jamsie, like you said. I put the pink streaks in my own hair, too. We matched!" he beamed. "It was the best moment of my life. I was so proud to see that it turned out perfect. She makes a nice raven-head." He continued to ramble on in this vein for quite some time, until Remus' eyes glazed over, and James began snoring. Even Peter soon got fed up with it, and plucked up the courage to interrupt.

"She hates you, Paddy, ol' buddy," he said solemnly, waking Remus out of his stupor and bringing James back to life. "Did you see the way she turned so red when Lily mentioned your matching hair at lunch? She actually told Lily to shut up. And lived!"

"No one hates Sirius Black!" he protested. "Well, except for the Slytherins, dearest Mum, Jamsie's Lily-flower, and Kerri-Ann Fleming, that Hufflepuff I dated in second year. Remember Prongs? She's one of Evans' best friends now."

"I believe they might have started an anti-Marauders Club," Remus said absently. "Jane threatened to join them after you left the table this morning."

"She wants me," Sirius said, puffing out his chest. "After all, love is just as strong of an emotion as hate, so she could easily be confused." He grinned. "I'm _so_ smart."

**. : - : .**

_Something's getting in the way_

_Something's just about to break_

_I will try to find my place_

_In the diary of Jane_

**. : - : .**

"Shhh!"

"Prongs, that was my foot! My precious, precious foot! You broke it!"

"Did not!"

"Stop being so melodramatic, Padfoot." A sigh came from the general direction of the werewolf of the group. "Your foot's not broken, and you're going to wake people up if you don't shut up."

"Geez."

There was no sound for a few moments, until the four boys under the cloak stopped at the end of the stairway, peering into the common room. Sirius gave an excited dog-like noise.

"It's Gardner!"

"She's asleep. Let's sneak around her, quick."

"Hell no! Look, she's got something like a journal in her hand!"

"…You can _not_ be thinking what I think you're thinking."

"Yes, I am. I'm gonna go read it!"

"But Pads, I'm hungry!"

'You guys go on then. And stop whining Wormy!"

"It was nice knowing you, good buddy. I hope she doesn't burn your body. I'd like to be able to bury it."

**. : - : .**

_As I burn another page_

_As I look the other way_

_I still try to find my place_

_In the diary of Jane_

_So tell me how it should be_

**. : - : .**

Sirius stared at the page in front of him. The words she'd written hardly seemed real. They couldn't be, shouldn't be true. The future? Her best friend's godfather? All five of them, dead, or as good as? No way. She was insane, or she came from a screwed up timeline that could never, ever happen, now that he knew.

Suddenly angry, he tore out the first page: the one that held all of the worst secrets. Then he ripped at the third, fourth, and fifth, where she had obviously cried on the book. He couldn't bear to think of an angel like that crying herself to sleep. It wasn't right. And it was his fault.

He tore out the last page he read and put it in his pocket, staring into the fire. A sudden desire to destroy the offending papers, the ones that reminded him of the mistakes he would end up making. Into the fire they went.

**. : - : .**

_Desperate, I will crawl_

_Waiting for so long_

_No love, there's no love_

_Die for anyone_

_What have I become?_

**. : - : .**

"LILY!" the girl's screams could be heard from the common room, where four boys were lounging lazily in front of the fire. "WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY DIARY?"

"Calm down," Lily said soothingly. "I haven't got your diary. Would your best friend really do that to you?"

"No…" she muttered. "But it's gone, Lily. GONE! I can't have people reading it…"

"Why not? What does it have in it?" Lily gasped, and grinned wickedly. 'Have you confessed your undying love for Black to your journal? Writing poetry?"

"That's beside the point, and in any case, no. It just has secrets I can't afford to have anyone find out."

'Where was the last place you had it?"

"The common room, and I fell asleep down there… I heard voices. It was them," she growled, realization dawning on her. "Those four buffoons who call themselves seventh year males. I bet you they have it."

"Then it should be easy enough to get back," Lily said slyly. 'All you have to do is…" he voice dropped to whisper, and Jane's grin grew wider.

"Lily, I believe you would have made a good Slytherin."

"Why thank you."

**. : - : .**

_Something's getting in the way_

_Something's just about to break_

_I will try to find my place_

_In the Diary of Jane_

**. : - : .**

Jane Gardner never found her diary. Albus Dumbledore managed to find her a way back home, to the timeline. A few things had changed. Sirius Black caught Peter Pettigrew instead of spending twelve years in Azkaban. Harry Potter grew up knowing that he had a godfather who would have taken him in if the law allowed it. Hermione Granger recognized the teenager in the thirty-five year old Sirius Black, and they remained great friends, bickering and laughing and crying together.

Neither ever married; Hermione because she never wanted to, Sirius because he would never live with himself if he did. He made do with friends, but there was always the part of him, that seventeen-year-old boy who desperately wanted and needed the young woman by his side.

She died before he did, a complication of a dragon-pox vaccine taking her before her time. She was only thirty-two. On the day of her memorial, he found the diary he'd taken from her, hidden, and treasured for nearly thirty-five years. He lit a match and touched it to the book, watching her hopes and dreams from her childhood burn till all that was left was a pile of ash in his hand.

Sirius Black kept the ashes until he died. He was laid to rest right next to Hermione Granger, and the diary was spread over their graves, according to his will, connecting them through a simple little book.

**. : - : .**

_As I burn another page_

_As I look the other way_

_I still try to find my place_

_In the diary of Jane_

**AN**: Please read and review!


End file.
